THE ROCKAWAY I KNEW
By Matthew Bashie
CHAPTER SEVEN: MY NEW BEST FRIEND
The very first time I met Ralph he was taking a bath! The boy was sitting in about a half foot of tub water and he was playing with a gray plastic submarine.
My mother and I had just gotten into the elevator on our floor of the apartment building into which my family had moved the year before - it was now the beginning of the summer of 1953. A woman who was already in the small mechanical closet asked me how old I was. I told her that I would be ten in just another few months and she informed me that she had a son practically my age and that we "would be perfect for each other." My mother agreed and said that it was about time that I had a "little friend" my own age with whom to "hang out." It was agreed that later on that evening, about six or so, I would come up to the woman's apartment and meet her son.
Promptly at six (thanks to my own mother who repeatedly reminded me!) I reluctantly trod up one flight of stairs and rang the doorbell of the predetermined apartment. The "kindly" lady seemed happy to see me and invited me into to the three- and- a-half-room apartment. Her husband was sitting to one side of the room, on a straight-backed chair which was placed onto a plastic mat - he was wearing a smoking jacket and indeed, he was smoking a pipe. The husband waved in my direction but didn't say anything to me. He was busy watching an old movie on an antique television set which was placed on a table completely on the other side of the room.
I was ushered into the open-door bathroom where Ralph was sitting in the bathtub. The lid on the toilet was down and I was advised to sit on the closed toilet - which I did. Then Ralph's mother left the two of us alone - in the bathroom - she even closed the door as she exited. Ralph gave me a cordial "hello" which I am certain that I returned. I cannot begin to tell how thoroughly embarrassed I was for the both of us. It got worse when Ralph stood up and extended his hand for me to shake - and without thinking, I got up and walked over to the tub and I did shake hands with a naked nine-year old. Every minute felt like an hour!
Before I arrived, Ralph had been playing in the tub with a plastic submarine-type boat. This ten-inch toy had slots in the stern for two red plastic torpedoes which were fired by springs - a great way to take an eye out? Ralph held the boat at head level - out of the water - and then shot off both of the missiles in the direction of the "then closed" bathroom door. It was my task to pick up the small pieces and to return them to this kid for "reloading" into the toy. Although this initial visit with Ralph was probably only about twenty or so minutes, to me it felt like twenty hours.
It was especially intolerable for me when Ralph stepped
out of the tub, towel drying himself directly while standing in front
of me. All this time, never did he indicate in any way that he was uncomfortable
about what was taking place. In my home, we did not do things like that
- both my parents and I always locked the bathroom door whenever we took
showers or had other personal and private business. So, this was a totally
new experience for me.
To be honest,
I could not wait to get away from the situation. I was completely ill-at-ease
and I kept saying (in my head) over and over again, that this kid and
his parents were crazy and that there was no way that I was ever going
to friends with this guy. And I was relieved that almost immediately after
he pulled on a pair of jockey undies, his mother reentered the room and
told me that it was almost time for Ralph to go to bed because the family
was going to get up at four the next morning - they were driving to someplace
called Lake George for a family vacation. I had no idea if that was a
person or a place -1 just wanted "out" of the situation and
I still wonder how I left that apartment without running away - because
that is exactly what I felt like doing.
A few days later, my front door bell rang and it was Ralph. This time
he was dressed and I invited him in and we spoke for an hour or so and
we decided to become friends. In time, Ralph would become my very best
friend. He was almost a year younger than I, but physically he was larger
of frame and definitely more mature. We had common interests - at least
I thought we did. For the most part, he had decided to tell me "what
I wanted to hear" because he too was desperate for age-mate companionship
having just moved in to the building several weeks before. So, in the
beginning, it was MY relationship and he let ME "call all the shots"
- and it was only after we got to know each other better that he would
challenge me for authority over our friendship.
Although for the next several years, we never discussed our initial meeting in Ralph's bathroom back in 1953, when I finally DID bring up the subject - but only to tell him how uncomfortable and embarrassed that I had been, he did not seem to understand why I had felt that way so I did not pursue the issue and we let it "hang" - as it was!
I mention Ralph in this chapter because he will become part of the interesting "cast of characters" in later chapters - as I go into more and more detail about my early exploits in the Far Rockaway areas. Of course there were other friends that I was to make in the next few years, but over all, my friendship with this one boy became the most important companionship that I was to share during my early childhood years in Wavecrest Gardens.
Oh! And before I forget!! When I got back to my own apartment after watching this child bathe, my mother asked me what I thought of this new boy. And I told her: "If you ever invite anyone into the bathroom to visit with me while I am taking a bath, I will kill you!" I am sure that she had no idea of what I was talking about. I never took the time to tell her what had just happened. I am certain that she would never have understood my embarrassment.
If you wish to contact me at any time, feel free to do so through this web site. I always love hearing from my fans and friends. M.B.
I always love hearing from my fans and friends. M. B.